For Now in Mommy's Tummy, Forever in My Heart.

Its funny the little things that we let worry us. Last week my biggest "worry" was getting another ultrasound so that I could find out the sex of our baby. Not so funny, is how fast things can change...

I had my 25 week checkup on Friday at the High River Hospital. I was feeling good, everything was looking good, baby was measuring right, my weight was on track...Everything looked perfect. Then came the note. While looking through my chart, the intern I was seeing noticed a note on my file to discuss my 18 week ultrasound with me. This sounded scary.  The notes showed that the US tech had found 2 Choroid Plexus Cysts on the baby's brain and that this could be an indicator of Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome). I had no idea what Trisomy 18 was, let alone what to say, what to ask, etc. I was speechless. She proceeded to tell me that the chart showed a very low probability of the baby actually having Trisomy 18 and that they had given me a risk ratio of 1 in 400 to 1 in 500 or that I could possibly now miscarry the baby and that there was a 1 in 200 chance of this. When I finally managed to squeeze out "what is Trisomy 18?" she grimly responded that it meant "incompatible with life" and that if the baby did have it, he or she would most likely die in utero or be born sick and die within a year.   Both the intern and the doctor that came in shortly after assured me that I shouldn't worry. That the risk was small and that they didn't even recommend having and Amniocentesis or any other further testing to rule out the Trisomy 18. They didn't even believe that a follow-up ultrasound was necessary and that I should just carry on as if nothing was wrong.

I left the office feeling so unbelievably scared and overwhelmed and barely made it to my car before I completely broke down. To me 1 in 200 for miscarriage and 1 in 500 for the Trisomy 18 was still a pretty big risk.

In the days that have followed I am starting to feel more confident that things will be ok. I have done countless hours of research and read hundreds of stories of women who have gone through the exact same thing. These cysts are far more common than I knew and the stories of healthy babies having had them is far more common than not. I am however still left wanting more information. I want another ultrasound... and I want to know where the numbers for my risk ratio came from...and I want to know why this happened. So until then I will just keep praying and thinking positive...because that is about all I can control right now.

Thank you little one, for giving your Mommy a wake-up call. I promise to never be worried by the things that just don't matter. I love you to the moon and stars and cannot wait for the day that we finally get to meet you. 

Love Mommy

- For an amazing video on Trisomy 18, please watch 99 Balloons on YouTube  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0